Annaprashan
The Wikipedia defines Annaprashan as:
a Hindu rite-of-passage ritual that marks an infant's first intake of food other than milk. The term annaprashan literally means "food feeding" or "eating of food".
and
Commonly referred to in English as First Rice, the ceremony is usually carried out when the child is about 6 months of age. (some Hindu communities do it later). It is an occasion for celebration, and extended family, friends and neighbours will be invited to attend. The mother or grandmother will prepare a small bowl of payesh (boiled rice, milk & sugar) which is blessed in a brief puja. The child will generally be held in the mother's lap, and a senior male family member (grandfather or uncle) will feed it a small spoonful of the payesh, to general celebration. Other members of the family then take turns to give the child a taste.
We actually held the ceremony a little early (just prior to Virj's fifth month). However, as you can see, he seemed pretty ready for solids. I would imagine a steady liquid diet of the breast milk variety for five months straight would have that effect.
The feeding ceremony is often followed with a game, in which the child is presented with a tray containing a number of objects. These will include a bangle or jewel (symbolising wealth), a book (symbolising learning), a pen (symbolising career) and a clay pot or container of earth/soil (symbolising property). The child's future direction and prospects in life are indicated by the object which it prefers to hold and play with.
Yep, he's all about the money. Or perhaps the dollar bill was the most succulent option on the tray.
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- April 15, 2008 11:05 PM // Virj
What's In A Name?
A little while back, I wrote about the naming process for our son, Virj, and I hoped:
Now, if everyone would only pronounce it properly :-)
I thought I was being facetious. Hard to go wrong with something so succinct, right? It's been four months now, so what's been our experience?
Amongst folks originating from the subcontinent there wasn't a problem. More or less perfect enunciation every time. However, for everyone else, particularly if they happened to have been born and brought up in the USA and had little or no exposure to Indian culture, it was more hit and miss. Correct pronunciation is "veerj" with stress on the "e" sound. But we were equally likely to get "verge" as in parents on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I exaggerate but imagine our plight. The early months of parenthood are particularly brutal - add to that regrets about picking a name that I thought was bulletproof, but one that turned out to have loopholes regardless - it certainly doesn't help.
At this juncture, we found the following skit from the hit BBC show Goodness Gracious Me particularly calming. The sketch, which came out around 1998 or so, is eerily prescient. We have Jonathan moving from the UK to join a firm in India where they have trouble with his name:
In today's mobile, intertwined, economically shifting world, there's really no guarantee our son will choose or even necessarily be able to live in the USA. Consequently, we tried to pick a name for all seasons and continents. On the whole, we're pleased.
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- March 29, 2008 3:08 PM // Diaspora , TV , Virj
The Newborn
I came across this poem by C Day Lewis, apparently written on occasion of the birth of his son, Daniel Day Lewis. Here are some excerpts:
The Newborn
This mannikin who just now
Broke prison and stepped free
Into his own identity--
Hand, foot, and brow
A finished work, a breathing miniature--
Was still, one night ago,
A hope, a dread, a mere shape we
Had lived with, only sure
Something would grow
Out of its coiled nine-month nonentity.
:
:
This morsel of man I've held--
What potency it has,
Though strengthless still and naked as
A nut unshelled!
:
:
We time-worn folk renew
Ourselves at your enchanted spring,
As though mankind's begun
Again in you.
This is your birthday and our thanksgiving.
- From Pegasus and Other Poems by C. Day Lewis
Poetry aside, it's been two months now, so what have we learned about parenthood? Let me list five things I had next to no idea about:
- It's tough on the mother, particularly if she's breastfeeding. During the hustle and bustle of pregnancy, it's easy to lose sight of the challenges thereafter. It's too easy to focus on the delivery. If anything, the real fun starts after the baby is born. Three hour feeding cycles can get exhausting very fast!
- I love the way Virj throws his hands in the air when I set him down quickly. Apparently, it's called the Moro Reflex and is normal in newborn infants. It makes him look like a Hare Krishna member.
- Similarly, rooting and grasping relfexes whereby the kid will look for a nipple to suck when pressed against a chest, any chest .. ahem .. or will clutch anything that comes his way, particularly our fingers.
- Oh the sweet sweet sounds of a burp! 'nuff said!
- Mylicon. Why does it have to be so expensive? Welcome to the Baby Industrial Complex (tm)!
On the whole, it's exhausting work but I can already feel our perspectives on life changing and for the better.
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- January 21, 2008 2:48 PM // Virj
"It's A Boy" Playlist
Stuff I've been playing to my 2 week old. Fuhgetabout Baby Einstein, this is the way to get him started on the good ish!
- New Life - Depeche Mode. What else but one of the earliest songs by the venerable synth group? My own indoctrination into the joys of synth pop. It seems so long ago.
- Kinna Sona - Bally Sagoo/Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. Long story but I once had occasion to chat with Bally's manager somewhere in Philadelphia. He went by the name of Mambo. We were talking about Bally's work and this is the one he picked as his most played. "When I go home, I pick up my newborn and play this song," he said. Now, I understand.
- Aerodynamik - Kraftwerk. No story here. Great beat to change diapers to. Plus get him started early on the masters.
- Garden of Earthly Delights - XTC.
"Kid,
Stay and snip your cord off,
Talk and let your mind loose,
Cant all think like chekov,
But youll be o.k." - I Got A Name - Jim Croce. I used this song as inspiration on our quest to find a name for the kid. Lovely, lilting stuff.
- It's A Boy (Remix) - Slick Rick. 'nuff said although he did cover his ear a tad when I played it to him. He'll learn, eventually.
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- December 4, 2007 9:48 PM // Music , Virj
Introducing Our Son
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
So, here he is. But before I introduce you to him, I wanted to tell you about our first challenge of parenthood - finding a name for our son. Here, I am reminded of Alex Haley's Roots. After his son is born, Omoro faces a challenge:
By ancient custom, for the next seven days, there was but a single task with which Omoro would seriously occupy himself: the selection of a name for his firstborn son. It would have to be a name rich with history and with promise, for the people of his tribe - the Mandinkas - believed that a child would develop seven of the characteristics of whomever or whatever he was named for.
Okay, it's not like we locked ourself up in a room for seven days and refused to emerge until we'd come up with some earthshaking moniker for our kid. But it would have been nice had we the luxury of doing so. A name is serious business - this is something the fellow is saddled with for life. Unless he changes it himself or goes into show business or something - but even then, there is the realization, often painfully acquired in grade school, that the name you were given is a lemon. What parent would want his kids to go through that gauntlet? School is cruel enough as it is! Consequently, in the nine months prior, whatever leisure time we had was spent poring over books of names, Bengali dictionaries and the web, in search of a moniker. Our criteria was as follows:
- Has to be short, snappy and sweet.
- Has to mean something, preferably in Sanskrit i.e. no nonsensical terms
- Can't have side-effects in English. No offense to Dixits or Dikshits, but I am not going anywhere near there if I can help it.
- Has to be somewhat unique
Choosing a unique name in a country of a billion people is hard. Forget Rama, Bhima, Shyama and Jadu, the law of probability dictates that whatever you come up with something remotely unusual, it's been taken. A friend asked recently:
What's the Bengali tradition for middle names? Gujaratis give father's first name as a middle name (even women have to take their husband's first name!). Talk about a patriarchical society.
I really couldn't think of any Bengali naming traditions per se other than the preference for fancy names. Remember I was telling you about my futile search? In many cases, the interesting twists or variations on names were taken by Chatterjees/Banerjees etc. Good for them! But it didn't make our task easier.
In desperation, we considered an approach that seems to be common in the US - creative misspelling. Consider Andruw instead Andrew or Jhonny instead of Johnny. Taken in the desi context, how about Deepakk or Rraja? Okay, I am kidding. But it did seem attractive for all of 3 milliseconds! Our friends, Devora and Manish, took note of our state and even included a "Name The Baby Contest" in Shari's baby shower festivities. Notable entries included:
- Rishesh
- McSoam
- Ghanashyam
Good for laughts, yes, although the first one was pretty good. However, this did spark our thinking and three days before he was born, we finally settled on a name. Shari had liked Vir (hero/warrior) for a while and it and its variation, Veer, had seemed relatively uncommon. Still, I thought a variation on the sound itself could yield something interesting. My contribution was a single letter: "j". "Virj" is Sanskrit for the quality of bravery and strength. The sound itself seems to resonate. And web searches show it to be relatively rare. Now, if everyone would only pronounce it properly :-)
So, there you have it. Hopefully, this is something our son will keep. We can but hope. I'll conclude with some lyrics from Jim Croce from his song, "I got a name":
Like the pine trees lining the winding road,I've got a name, I've got a name
Like the singing bird and the croaking toad,
I've got a name, I've got a nameAnd I carry it with me like my daddy did
But I'm living the dream that he kept hid.Moving me down the highway, rolling me down the highway
Moving ahead so life won't pass me by.
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