Pointing out that the Onion is funny is a bit like pointing out the sky is blue. It is perhaps the most-praised comedy brand in existence, and its brilliant headlines and videos constantly ricochet around the Web. But it's worth seeking out what may be the most overlooked treasure on the Onion's Web site: the archives of the Onion's Sunday magazine.

What makes me love the 234 covers featured here isn't just that they're hilarious—though they certainly are; it's that they so fondly parody the magazine form. Parade, the Sunday Times Magazine, ESPN, the newsweeklies: Each of these comes in for loving scorn.

An example:

And another:

All the fake mag covers you could possibly want here.

Sentence which leads to

Paragraph which naturally runs on to

Page

Chapter

Book

Championing by obscure art lit critic

Series

Out of print fishwrap.

Discovery by out-of-luck down-to-his-last-cocaine-line film director at an Inland Empire bake sale.

Indie Film Adaptation

Sundance

Director's Cut DVD with unrated, unnecessary extra footage containing nothing lurid.

Poorly dubbed Telenovela on Univision.

Included on re-release Director's Cut 10 Year Anniversary Edition DVD.

Criterion Collection

Endless marathon reruns on Star TV in between pan parag and Vicks commercials with all the good bits excised

Bollywood "adaptation" with much denial by producers that this is not a frame by frame ripoff of the original.

Entire "adaptation" almost instantaneously available on YouTube in 10 minute chunks.

Fan Tamil dub edit goes viral.

Hipster bloggers tweet up a storm.

Gritty dark re-imagined remake or origin story prequel greenlit in Hollywood. With money from Indian conglomerates.

Untimely death of original auteur in tragic hot tub accident observed in back page of The Big Sur Times.

--

Hat tip.

I keep returning to this topic and, judging by the recent outpouring of popular articles and TV shows, so do lots of Americans. I tweeted about it few times earlier especially after seeing the PBS Frontline documentary called Digital Nation but felt it was worthy of a blog post. The concept of multitasking dawned on me only after I came to this country along with other helpful work aids such as "Productivity!", "Push The Envelope!", "Work Hard!" and "Team Leader!" I observed that Americans take a lot of pride in being able to multitask continuously. One of the first things my supervisor advised me at my first job in America — "You need to be able to multitask effortlessly" she said. But of course!

I had no choice but to follow that principle for the last few years while I was in school or working at my various 9-5 jobs and pursuing my creative interests in filmmaking/acting on the side, because I was always trying to do more that I could handle. Not to say that I was happy with the feeling of being overwhelmed all the time. However, it was easier to hold my sanity doing that in my pre-mommyhood days!

However, post baby, I realize that motherhood and caring for an infant takes multitasking to whole new levels of nuttiness. Back then, I found myself juggling oodles of tasks at the same time — pumping with one hand and feeding the baby milk with the other, rocking the bouncer and trying to calm a wailing infant while calling the after care nurse triage service, feeding the baby while reading stories and grabbing a bite for myself while browsing through my emails! I have eaten baby food by mistake and almost fed my son my own dinner while trying to manage multiple spoons. I was also very proud of my one-handed typing skills while pumping breast milk! This madness did not stop at infancy - multitasking of motherhood (MoM) is continuing well into my son's toddler years. If anything, it became even more interesting trying to juggle the mommy duties, while working, pursuing my passion in acting and holding down the fort when hubby is unavailable due to his "extremely demanding" job! Every year, there are reports of overstressed parents running off to run errands having forgotten their baby is still locked in the car, sometimes with tragic consequences. Before, I would wonder how this could happen? Now, I can understand.

I was relieved to see Digital Nation, which confirmed my belief that multitasking is not so great for our brains after all! Here's a snippet from the video that summarizes the findings of a study conducted by Clifford Nass, a Professor at Stanford University and the founder and director of the Communication between Humans and Interactive Media (CHIMe) Lab, on a group of "multitasking" students:

Check out the DVD on Netflix, also available on instant watch.

The May issue of Women's Health magazine had an article on this topic which I felt was particularly relevant to us ladies. It's called How to Do One Thing at a Time and it asks us to stop multitasking! Here are some excerpts from the article:

A recent study published in the science journal NeuroImage revealed that when we attempt demanding tasks simultaneously, we end up doing neither as well as we should, because our brains have cognitive limits. We may think we're doing two things at once, but our brains are actually toggling between them.

"A tremendous amount of evidence shows that the brain does better when it's performing tasks in sequence, rather than all at once," says Clifford Nass, Ph.D., a professor of communication at Stanford University. "There's a huge cost to your concentration every time you switch gears. We still don't know the long-term effects of chronic multitasking, but there's no question we're bad at it, and it's bad for us."

"Multitasking has long been thought to slow down and even injure the mind," she says, "and those of us who practice Chinese medicine believe it can also injure the body."

Doing yoga regularly has definitely helped me focus but it's amusing to see that my fellow yogis or yoginis can't let go off their iPhones till the last minute before class. Let's see how long I can hold onto my zen and denounce the pressures of the "Tamasik" universe. Namaste! :)

The SMS/Text shortcuts seem to have become the new lexicon of the 21st century. What started off as a language of convenience is gradually taking over the English language. I often get emails written in short-form, like the following (from a very sweet friend, I should add):

Hi
recd ur msg on fb.
nice to hear from u after so long.
u must have been busy with ur lil one.
see u n da lil one soon!
S

I have to admit that I find this extremely annoying — why bother to write when you don’t have time to spell out words? I haven’t figured out a way to politely convey that to this friend of mine. Perhaps she’ll get the point when she reads this post :-) It’s okay to use it for text messaging, for tweeting (to best utilize the 140 word-limit on Twitter) and maybe for a quick Facebook update but it’s not nice to write letters just with initials. I have also noticed that this trend is more popular in India as compared to the US — my inference is based on my experience of living in these two countries only. I’m guessing, it’s the influence of the rampant SMS culture there, which can probably translate to any heavy text using community across the globe.

This brilliant piece by an an Indian American Comedian Dalia McPhee called “What’s with all the initials?”, describes my sentiments perfectly! Here’s how it goes…

I got up and that was the good part.

Then I got on my PC to see CNN, then I IM-ed my friend JD on AOL, then my CPU went AWOL. And, JD’s all LOL, guess ur S.O.L. And, I’m LOL? LOL?, FU u SOB!!…

Check out the rest of her show along with four other talented Indian comedians on the Indian Comedy Tour DVD available on Netflix. You don't have to be an Indian to enjoy the jokes, they are pretty universal!

It's astounding how a movie this long could accomplish so little. Sex and the City 2 could qualify as fashion porn - there are endless images of dresses, shoes, jewelry, and so forth - and plenty of shopping spree money shots. There are times when director Michael Patrick King's cameras linger on the wardrobe and accessories rather than on the actors, establishing clearly (as if there was ever a doubt) where his preferences lie.

He could have been talking about pretty much any big budget Bollywood masala flick, at least up to mid 2000s.

We first meet the band during the opening sequences and look! They are drenched already. They don't look very happy right from the beginning.

Can you feel the pain? You know he can. Also, I presume PortaPotties were scant at the shoot.

Now the director has put them on a windy rooftop. Without any railings. The poor lead singer looks close to being swept away.

Next, we see them in train station, trying to hold on against an oncoming crush of commuters. This is tough to watch.

And another round of indiginity. Performing next to a construction site and ladders? Can you say bad luck?

As if that wasn't enough, look at the poor band's mode of transportation! Rickety motor bikes rushing at top speed. My, my. That doesn't look very safe at all. Whatever happened to tour buses?

After all of this, can you blame the rest of the cast for being sympathetic? Some start to feel the pain for themselves.

Having had enough, the band tries to make a quiet getaway. Inasmuch as the harmonica playing will allow...

Caught! And punished! Poor band now has to play sitting in the bay.

Finally, the director dumps the band back in the station where they have to perform just to pick up enough loose change for their fare. Shame!

There really should have been a disclaimer "No Bands Were Harmed During The Making Of This Film" but now we are left to wonder about their fate. Will the Poor Little Brave Band That Could make it back home safely? Will there be a sequel to their story? Kudos, brave band, kudos.

It is an early morning Sunday in Berkeley, California and Declan McManus is late. "Gotta get there soon," he mutters to himself while circling for parking in the warehouse area of this laid back college city. You would think he is trying to make a protest on time. Or perhaps attend a nondenominational service in the local Buddhist temple. In fact he is not doing either. By the time Declan arrives panting outside the doors of Trader Vik's, the line has spilled out into the parking lot.

Now, there is no such problem. Chaat, the Indian version of small plates, has swept the Bay Area. In upscale places like Haldi, you can find small shrimp, fried in butter and turmeric, nestling on a bed of coconut flakes and sev, made of grated, fried potatoes.

Then I actually read the piece and it was nothing I had envisioned. Encomiums to chaat aside, two lines really rang loud and true:

When Vinod Chopra moved to California in the early ’80s, chaat was virtually unheard of in America. There was what Americans call Indian food and Indians call Punjabi food — gooey sauces and garlic naan.

Thank you.

An argument can be made that what passes for Indian culture in the rest of the world is derived in great part from Punjabi culture but that's a post for another day. For now, here's some chaat porn. Yum!

Over the past few years we certainly have seen more South Asians in the American media though the term “South Asian” is becoming obsolete. I see more ads looking for “East Indians” than anything else. Not quite sure why but my guess is because India is becoming more prominent amongst the South Asian countries and hence taking over the identity. Anyway, though the numbers have risen, the roles in Hollywood still fall prey to stereotypes. As filmmakers, Soam and I have watched this evolution closely and have had long discussions on what the requirements might be for Indian actors in Hollywood. About 10 years ago, it would definitely be the short, dark, simple looking Indian guy who was non-threatening and could be a cab driver or, if he got lucky, a doctor. 9/11 opened up the floodgates for Indian actors to play terrorists. However, the cabbie, the doctor and the New York street vendor continue to appear.

The few actors who have been able to make a breakthrough in recent times are Naveen Andrews (Lost), Kal Penn (Harold and Kumar), Sendhil Ramamurthy (Heroes), Mindy Kaling (Office), Rekha Sharma (Battlestar Galactica) and Aziz Ansari (Parks and Recreation). Though Andrews was typecast as an Iraqi soldier (falling into the “terrorist category”), it was good to see Kumar’s character break away from the stereotype. That being said, Kal Penn played a doctor and a terrorist subsequently in House and 24….poor guy has to make his living after all! Ramamurthy plays a nerdy scientist in Heroes who drones on with profound insights….oh come on, can there be no normal Indian guy ever? I know his character has evolved from the first few episodes I saw but I haven’t re-visited Heroes since then, so pardon me if I’m blatantly wrong. As for Kaling, she created her role herself being the co-executive producer and writer of Office! The role of Sharma in Battlestar Galactica is probably the most experimental out of the lot, though she doesn’t quite play an East Indian. I haven’t seen Parks and Recreation yet but from what I’ve read Ansari’s character is pretty interesting. He is called Tom Haverford, again not an East Indian name. Color blind casting at work?

Apart from these few successes there seems to be very few opportunities for the majority of East Indian actors in Hollywood. I’d say it’s worse for the desi sistas – they have to make do with the occasional demand for a brown face in a “diverse” crowd or a bit role as an exotic girl friend/coworker.

Being an actor/model myself, I’ve been noticing the trend over the last few years. Though I’ve been cast as a doctor and as part of an East Indian family, most of my gigs were for ethnically ambiguous roles where they needed a non-Caucasian. For example, for one of my auditions from a few weeks ago, I was supposed to play an East Indian doctor for a well-known Pharmaceutical company. My agent hadn’t briefed me on the details but the moment I arrived at the casting, I was quite certain that I would not make a good fit. I was a little too glamorously dressed for the occasion. And here I was thinking in terms of Scrubs and House while choosing my wardrobe. Go figure! I guess the same rules don’t quite apply to East Indian actors! You would think all the talk of Bollywood and seeing Bollywood actresses like Aishwarya Rai and Freida Pinto in the media would change perspectives a bit? I guess it will take longer for the casting directors here to realize that East Indian actors/models can be “versatile” too! However, my experience is limited to San Francisco and doing this as a side profession, which means I don’t go to that many auditions. So, I welcome my desi brothers and sisters to fill me in on this, if I’m wrong.

Here's to more dishum in our lives!

"dunno. I’m sure these projects sound great on the celebrity Buddhist circuit, when you’re saying “namaste” to Richard Gere or Uma Thurman, but I just don’t know how much appeal they have in Des Moines."

What do you think? While Buddha won't play like Passion of the Christ in Des Moines, isn't it still worthwhile to get these kinds of projects off the ground and into the western media mainstream?

Here's the link.

Loins of Punjab Presents is a sweet, mostly gentle film with many moments of laugh out loud hilarity that nonetheless conceals great craftsmanship. There are no deaths in the course of this film. No change-the-game plot twists. Characters don't stumble into massive insights. Relationships mostly remain intact. About halfway through, someone (it turns out to be co-writer Anubhav Pal in a bit role) actually gives away the ending. It doesn't make a whit of difference. The fun here is the ride, not the destination.

The setup is simple enough - over a weekend in New Jersey, a number of contestants gather for a "Desi Idol" type contest complete with auditions, judges, audience selections and a $25000 first prize. Of the contestants, we have your garden variety honors student Preeti Patel (Ishitta Sharma) and her driven Patel clan, scheming socialite Rrita Kapoor (Shabana Azmi), aspiring Bollywood actress Sania Rahman (Seema Rahmani) sadly hampered by not knowing a line of Hindi, an original Sikh OG, Turbanotorious BDG (Ajay Naidu), a white-on-the-outside-brown-on-the-inside fellow (Michael Raimondi) and his supportive desi girlfriend (Ayesha Dharkar) and the director himself as a suddenly unemployed financial analyst Vikram Tejwani, a fellow living in the land of logs and probabilities. Shepherding the proceedings are the Loins of Punjab representative Mr. White (Kunal Roy Kapoor) and event organizer Mr. Bokhade (Jameel Khan). This is not counting the numerous other contestants, bit parts, MCs, irate hotel managers, judges (of which, musician Trance Sen played by Samrat Chakraborti and fashionista Chris G, played by Sanijv Jhaveri, are standouts), wise cracking bystanders and audience members that pepper the proceedings. My knees buckle when I think of the sheer number of speaking parts and the shooting challenges - the exterior shots were filmed in NYC but the bulk of the interiors, set in a New Jersey hotel, were shot on specially constructed sets in Mumbai's Film City. The latter was ostensibly for cost savings, yet, as Manish acknowledges in the commentary, shooting for the USA in India posed its own set of difficulties such as finding appropriate light switches, and caused the film to actually come in over budget. As a first time feature director and producer, Manish certainly did not make things easy for himself!

As you can imagine, with the huge cast of characters it would have been very easy to reduce each to cliched stereotypes. That everyone has their moments in the spotlight is a tribute to the strength of the script and the actors. Once again, it was enlightening to hear in the commentaries that Manish genuinely feels casting is 50% of directing and the pre-production involved a grueling series of auditions. It works. Not a bum note in the entire lot and, as I mentioned before, many, many bright moments. Consider the opening monologue from Mr. White who strolls into view holding a cup of coffee:

Mr PK Singhal. He came into this country with nothing. Zero. And then ... he got into loins.

Loins of Punjab are proud to present "Desi Idol."

He then takes a sip from his coffee cup, revealing the bottom of the cup shaped as a pig snout.

Puns, visual humor, deadpan delivery and the American Dream. Left unsaid is the subversion of the general imagery of Punjabis as the lions of India into a generally lubricious lot, something illustrated with great gusto by Mr. Bokade throughout the film:

All of this achieved by a brilliant title that appears to be a typo but is far more.

Similarly, the Patel clan could have easily degenerated into a mess of badly accented, kanjoos (stingy) cliches. Consider the haggling at a strip club: "$20 for topless? I’ll give you $10, show me one breast." Here though, it works since their primary motivation is a sweet one. They are helping a family member win.

Finally, Turbanotorious BDG - the film is careful to show that beneath the bluster, there lies a deeply vulnerable man. It doesn't hurt that Ajay Naidu is an accomplished rapper and B-Boy. Consequently, not only is the dancing excellent, but his lyrics actually makes sense. "The Goonda Philosophy" indeed!

All in all, well worth 88 minutes of your time. Can't wait for the followup.

The election of Obama to the Presidency was for many people an experience akin to that of a first-time raver. A tsunami of dopamine floods your skull, lighting ablaze every last neuron. And in that cresting wave of impossibly good feelings you have ideas. Some wicked cool ideas. Like, you know, what the world really needs is a Ministry of Cuddling and maybe a Treasury of Stolen Kisses. And if only, somehow, you could just talk to Osama Bin Laden and give him a hug. He would renounce terrorism, move to the Bay Area, open up a hookah bar (called 'Arabian Nights', natch) and become a DJ of some repute, known for throwing down chill Islamo-Arabic beats.

But now it's morning. This isn't Reagan's "Morning in America". It's morning in an abandoned warehouse along the industrial edge of Oakland. You are slouched in one corner on the cold, hard concrete. And in the stark light of day you see that the cool Jamaican Rastafarian with whom you had a brilliant conversation last night is decidedly neither Jamaican nor a Rastafarian. He is Ben, a middle-aged Jewish guy with fake dreadlocks, who works in the back room of the local herbal therapy store and lives in Mrs. Chao's basement in Chinatown. The slinky rave goddess who lit up the dance floor with you and with whom you had this really, really amazing connection is a pink-haired, slightly chubby 19-year old named Amber from Contra Costa county who is slumped over your shoulder crying because her baby daddy Hector just texted, promising her an ass-whooping because he came home from a night of gang banging to find their infant son alone with her preteen brother.

From the corner of your eye you see the DJ packing up his gear, throwing you an occasional disinterested look. Your eyes are crusty. Your throat is dry. You really need to take a whizz. Ben's drooling on your legs. You gently kick him off. Amber's now sobbing uncontrollably. You twist away slowly and let her slide off. You feel for the car keys in your pocket. Still there. You breathe a sigh of relief. You get up, stretch, look at your watch. It's 11:45 am. And you think, "I best get out of here. Gotta make a living."

And that's what happened to Kal Penn.

#IndianMoviesTaught me that God listens to your prayers when u go to the mandir and yell at Him

#indianMoviesTaught me that the thing I am missing in my real life is the background score!

#indianmoviestaught that every christian guy is mostly named peter or michael and d dialogs suffixed with a "man"..tum kya karta hai man!

#IndianMoviesTaught me that ma ke haath ke gajjar ka halwa is the best!!

#IndianMoviesTaught that if you are a famous south Indian hero, you will become the CM of your state soon.

#indianmoviestaught me that I should address my husband by saying "Aji Sunte Ho?"

#IndianMoviesTaught me that the Indian villain is always the host & chairperson of the International Gangster Meet

#IndianMoviesTaught me that putting a fake mole on ur cheek leaves u unrecognisable & is an efficient way of disguise...

#IndianMoviesTaught that everything can be blamed on daru consumption (liquor) http://bit.ly/99rfx7
#IndianMoviesTaught The bomb won't explode even if you cut ANY one of the wires (blue / red).

#IndianMoviesTaught me that if you say a sentence in english, it has to repeated in hindi immediately after

#indianmoviestaught when judge gives a wrong decision against hero, the scales in the hand of blindfold statue go down one side

#IndianMoviesTaught mere paas maaaaaaaa hai ...

#IndianMoviesTaught me that when a bee pollinates a flower, a human child is born.

#indianmoviestaught me that a Harward MBA writes his diary in Hindi

#IndianMoviesTaught me ladies much prefer throat nuzzling to kissing.

#indianmoviestaught that kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hain

By all accounts, that should have been that and all of us would have moved on to newer music after a while. However, my better half hit the brilliant idea of using this playlist as something to soothe Virj to sleep. Since then, it has been on regular rotation since he responded to it (or not) so well. I worry about hard disk burn in on both our iPods for the sectors that contain these tracks as they get played so darn often.

Suffice it to say, I am working on a new one. In the meantime, here's the tracklist with my thoughts and the widgets thereafter.

It's been a while since I've shared a playlist and the part of the problem is finding the right tool as to how best to do it. In the past, I'd tried stuff like Webjay which seemed to work well but relied on you actually uploading the track somewhere accessible. Anyway, Yahoo bought Webjay and then proceeded to retire it. So much for that. Soundcloud is better but you still have to upload the music yourself or hope someone else has done it already. This is problematic for copyrighted music. Consequently, I am trying two new options this time around. The first is Rhapsody, a music subscription service I use. I am continually impressed by the breadth of their library but their sharing tools still need some work. Plus, it's best if you're signed up. Nonetheless, I've included a "rhaplink" - supposedly non-subscribers have 25 free plays a month. I am also including iLike since I like their playlist widget better - but you only get 30 seconds or so, I think.

1. Dance Of The Wind - Shweta Javeri
2. Ras Rang (Vol. 1) / Thumri - Shobha Gurtu

Both are taken from a collection, "Passage To India - Traditional" and feature a cornucupia of styles. These two are meditative in nature and provide a calm start.

3. Prayer For The Four Directions - David and Steve Gordon
From Indians to American Indians. Picking up the pace a tad.

4. Magnetic - Tabla Beat Science
The nearest thing we have to a South Asian supergroup! I was fortunate enough to attend their Stern Grove concert in San Francisco a couple of years ago. This is a slow workout building in anticipation of bigger things.

5. Taking The Dust - Jai Uttal
The first of two Jai Uttal tracks. This one has a distinct Baul feel. Lovely and lilting.

6. M'Beddemi - Cheikh Lo
A personal favorite, this track is the opening salvo in Cheikh's 1999 album Bambay Gueej. Cheikh is a Senegalese musician and this truck is a mid tempo funk workout with liquid drums that remind you of the tabla and shimmering guitars.

7. Kothbiro - Ayub Ogada
From the album African Voices, this is the most beautiful track on the playlist. I first heard it on the soundtrack to The Constant Guardian and it has stayed with me ever since. I defy any parent to listen to this song while their child is sleeping and not be moved.

8. Deep - Citizen Cope
A change of pace but that's what makes playlists so much fun! A slow, stately jam with organs leading the way.

9. Gaze - Sweetback
Sweetback is the side project of Stewart Matthewman, Sade's sonic maestro. This is from their first album and is a typical understated ambient masterpiece.

10. Traveller (Kid Loco's Once Upon A Time In The East mix) - Talvin Singh
Originally featured on the Talvinremixsingh remix collection, this Kid Loco remix more than holds its own compared to the original.

11. Shalom - Jai Uttal
Jai's second appearance. Should raise good vibes in everyone except the most cynical.

12. Mountain Path - Badmarsh & Shri
Lilting uptempo piece by the pioneering UK duo.

13. Journey To Arnhemland - Jamiroquai
Another personal favorite (both this track and the band). I have no idea where they are going but they are the pied pipers of modern day groovedom.

14. Somebody Up There Likes You - Simple Minds
Bet you didn't think you'd find Simple Minds here now, did you? This is from their New Gold Dream '81 '82 '83 album, an early '80s masterpiece, way before "Don't You Forget About Me," "Alive and Kicking" and all that. An uplifting funky instrumental.

15. The Enchantment - Sheila Chandra
Closing out and returning back to chilldom with this vocal exploration by the UK singer.

Rhapsody Playback Link

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